Everyone tells you marriage is hard work, but what does that really mean?
It’s about unearthing hidden expectations, mastering the dance of compromise, and navigating your relationship’s inevitable storms. It’s also about understanding that perpetual problems are a part of every relationship, recognizing the dreams within conflicts, and navigating gridlocked issues. In other words, it’s about awareness and skill. And skills can be learned and practiced.
Your committed and in love, and you want to make sure it stays that way.
It’s about continuously nurturing the spark that first ignited your bond, proactively addressing the silent shadows that might creep between you, and celebrating both the extraordinary and ordinary moments that define your journey together. It’s about understanding that love isn’t just a feeling, but an ongoing act of intention. In essence, it’s about both cherishing the heartbeats and mastering the rhythms of a lasting relationship. And with dedication and guidance, this dance can become second nature.
Hard truth #1
Turning toward the relationship bond can be difficult when you’re suffering… and you will suffer at times. Turning toward the bond, even when you’re suffering, is what commitment is all about.
When you make each other suffer, it is because you both are suffering deeply within yourselves, and your suffering is spilling over. You both do not need punishment; you need help. That’s the message you are sending to each other.
Hard truth #2
Committed relationships are emotion amplifiers for better or worse, and navigating emotional intensity takes skill… and you and/or your partner may not be skilled… yet.
Relationship work is about learning to carve out your sacred space in a meaningful relationship, and that is always worth it (because you matter). It’s also about wanting to explore the experience of the other, because they matter, too. That’s where the work begins.
The Four Dimensions of Healthy, Committed Relationships
The foundation of healthy committed relationships
Healthy conflict fosters connection and growth
Intimacy & Romance
The outcome of consistently turning toward your bond
The outcome of supporting each other’s life dreams
Here’s what we’ll do…
Premarital counseling offers committed couples an interactive and educational journey, distinct from traditional therapy. Throughout these sessions, couples will immerse themselves in the foundational principles of Gottman’s relationship theory, gaining invaluable skills and strategies to nurture and fortify their bond.
Session 1: Laying the Foundation
- Getting Started
- Overview of the Gottman Theory and The Sound Relationship House
- The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Recognizing Destructive Behaviors
Session 2: Deepening Connection
- Building Love Maps: Understanding Each Other’s World
- Asking Open-Ended Questions: Fostering Curiosity
- Sharing Fondness and Admiration: Celebrating Strengths
Session 3: Fostering Intimacy & Unity
- Turning Towards: Strengthening Bonds
- Sex, Romance & Passion: Reigniting Sparks
- The Positive Perspective: Cultivating Optimism and Trust
Session 4: Navigating Challenges
- Six Essential Skills for Managing Conflict
- Aftermath of a Fight or Regrettable Incident: Healing and Moving Forward
- Physiology During Conflict and Self-Soothing Techniques
Session 5: Crafting a Shared Future
- Make Life Dreams Come True: Nurturing Dreams and Envisioning a Shared Future
- Create Shared Meaning: Building a Unified Life Narrative
We’ll explore essential relationship-building blocks, hone in on vital skills, and address the unique nuances of your partnership. To get started, simply reach out to schedule your free consultation, and I’ll guide you through the next steps, ensuring a seamless transition into this transformative experience.
1. Schedule and attend your free consult
Free consults are provided to answer questions, check the vibe between us, and to confirm I am the right fit.
2. Schedule and attend your first couple's session
This is an 80-minute session designed to lay the foundational information necessary to complete our work together.
3. Complete online assessment individually
The “Save Your Marriage Before It Starts” (SYMBIS) Assessment offers engaged couples a deep dive into their relationship’s unique dynamics.
4. Schedule and attend your remaining sessions
We’ll move through the foundational principles and practice the skills necessary to nurture, fortify, and maintain your bond.
5. Get Married!
You’ve got the skills now… Teamwork Makes the Dream Work!
6. Revisit and Practice with Gottman Modules
Consistency is key! Revisit the included Gottman Relationship Builder Online Modules regularly. As you hone those skills, watch your connection deepen and thrive.